Reflections on a birthday

So I turned 54 on the 8th. It was pretty much just another day. We adults usually have to work on our birthdays. I remember in school, I felt like I always missed out because my birthday was in the summer, I didn't get to have class party. And being in July, I was always one of the last to turn the big age milestones like 16 and 21. It doesn't seem that important when your older.
I don't know what I thought I would be doing or where I would be when I got to be this age. I don't think many of us write that stuff down when we are younger. I don't know too many people who have their life planned out like that. I guess in some ways it gives you a goal. But now days, you better be prepared to reevaluate and revamp plans.
When I younger, before the age of 25, I always thought I would get married and have kids, blah, blah, blah. But the older I got and the longer I went without finding the right guy, I came to accept that I probably wasn't going to have kids, although I never gave up on finding the right guy. I guess I didn't have the over powering mother gene that drove me to have a child no matter what. There were times I wished I would have had at least one, but it passes pretty fast. And of course now that I have met Steve, there is that romantic notion that it would have been wonderful to have a kid with him. Oh well. We can be the great aunt and uncle, and hopefully one day, grandparents.
I can't help thinking that when my mother was my age, she was getting a divorce. And she has now lived as many years divorced as she had being married. I wish she could have found someone who treated the way she wanted, but she has always claimed she would rather live alone.
So I guess we all wonder as we get older, whether we have made a mark on the world, or affected anyone for the better. Most of us will never win any big awards or invent some world changing device. I guess we need to remember that being a good parent, sister, brother, friend can be just as life changing. I love the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." I think that movie best epitomizes how we just don't realize how much we affect others lives. The smallest thing can change someone for ever. So I try to remember that by doing my massages, I have helped many people get out of pain and in some instances, with some of my regulars, who I have become friends, I have helped them work through some life situations just by being there for them to talk to and bounce thoughts off of. For that I am very grateful. I know I was led to massage. Sometimes I lament that my two sisters got all the artistic talent and my brother got the musical talent, but then I remember that they don't do what I do. So it works out.
I don't know if I will start to worry next year when I'm 55. So far no age has really affected me. I think I'm doing pretty good overall.